Double Digit Runs

I miss double digit runs.

I miss running.

Ever since my foot injury, I've been scared to run. I did an outdoor run last Monday, just around the Central Park reservoir and home. It was probably a total of two miles. My heel hurt. I iced it, stuck to the elliptical and bike the next day, and tried a run again on Saturday. It was a short run- up to the park, a portion of the reservoir, to 90th and Madison (where I needed to pick up new bra's from Intimacy) and then I walked home. Short runs.

I miss running through the park- the 6 mile loop, then the 4 mile, then home. I always felt so accomplished, so proud of myself, so AMAZED that my body could do that. I loved the feeling of increasing a mile every week. When I started half marathon training in January, I'd never run more than 4 or 5 miles. Then 6 came and I knew I could do 7 and then 8 and then I ran 12. The rush of emotion when I finished 12 miles was unexpected. I sat on a park bench and cried.

I miss how my body feels when I am running consistently. Fit. Tight. Small. It didn't matter that I didn't lose weight- I felt and was visibly smaller. I lost inches.

And now that I haven't been running, I feel the opposite. Soft. Out of shape. Not myself.

I need to start again. But I'm scared. I am scared to re-injure my foot. And this morning I thought to myself how unfair it was that I finally got into good shape and then I got hurt. Like the Fitness Gods were telling me this sport isn't for me. It is. It has to be.

I want to start training for the Staten Island Half Marathon. It is on October 10th, a little less than 10 weeks away. Technically, I would need to start TODAY.

And I think that is exactly what I will do.